So if obesity is an issue...

After many, many, many trips to various stores, both local and national, we have finally resigned ourselves to having to patch one very old air tube sled.  This is not such a big deal...It gives us a chance to save up for the sleds we really want!  But, it is interesting that in a nation so torn by the obesity epidemic, that stores in New England have sold out of sleds, minus a few of the type that seem to be unwanted remnants.  It is almost the end of January; does anyone remember the snow we got at the end of April a few years back?
  Yeah, I am a bit baffled by this lack of production myself.  The only thing I can think of is that video games cost more, so if you can't get out and enjoy yourself in a healthy, active manner then you might as well stay home and give your fine motor skills workout. 
  Which, come one on mums and dads, we are all gettting the same messages about media over exposure...
                       http://www.childrennow.org/index.php/learn/medias_impact/

Take your pick from any line in the brief introduction to this site, and check out their articles on the site if you need evidence of that which I am speaking.  It is  no longer as simple as limiting TV time; it means limiting cell phone and computer use too.  My personal preference is to keep the computer as an educational and research tool; they'll have plenty of time to learn about the other options computers provide.  And don't they get that recreational technology time at school, in study hall or at a friends home?  Gives me chills just thinking about it!  Our children will have those cell phones that can only get calls from certain numbers, and can only make calls to certain numbers.  If you so choose, all of these make great reinforcers, but it can be a difficult transition to make when everyone in the house is used to it being an open media zone.  Best to start young..one way is to limit their TV time right now.  Let them see you using your cell phone where it's appropriate.  
  For current parents, it is trying to avoid the constant inundation of outside influence on who you want your developing child to become.  And this does mean leading by example as well...There is nothing like a child to call your integrity into perspective.  While I really want to check my email during lunch, thereby limiting conversations with my girls as they eat, I want them to learn that meal times are a  time for sharing information, checking in, and talking about what has happened, and what will happen.  Trust me, if my husband thought he could get away with playing World of Warcraft in our house, he would.  But he understands that it sends a message to the girls we don't want them getting at this age. 
  While I often find myself on the opposing team to my husband, mother, mother-in-law, sisters-in-law, (take your pick)  with a little explanation my husband will generally come around.  Note the absence of the word 'happily' in my previous line.  When that doesn't work, if I find articles, or brief reading materials supporting my ideas that can also help him (and my mum, somtimes too, but that is a whole other blog).  And sometimes I just have to compromise!!
  As always, and with everyone in my life, I'm...AIMing4Peas 

How I came to the title....

 So it is probably long overdue that I really explain myself as to the title of this blog.  First off, 'Adventures In Babysitting' (while not a movie I was allowed to watch) was popular when I was growing up.  As someone who did ALOT of babysitting, I thought it pretty much was a briefing in parenthood.  Never once did the emotional ties, or the parents connections to their kids, occur to me.  And I really loved some of my charges...But nothing can, and nobody tries, to prepare you for the heart and soul change that becoming a parent will incur on your being.  Your sense of safety and security go right out the window, as you realize slowly that you no longer have to worry about only controlling your world, but also that of a precious little being wrapped in your carrier (that I used incorrectly until I got my Ergobaby=).  Granted they aren't little for long, but my concernes didn't shrink because the baby got bigger.  In fact, just the opposite...When I no longer had to concern myself with whether or not they were 'getting enough' while nursing, I started checking off my mental list of major milestones. 
 Shortly thereafter I started to worry about how I would afford private schools and college; realizing shortly thereafter that private schools had bullies and Mean Girls too...Which brought me to the option of a homeschool co-op, perhaps they would let me adapt and expand their lessons in exchange for my daughters attending their group?  One girlfriend quickly pointed out to me that it would be awfully hard to come to an agreement with other parents of what should be learned and how. Argh...
  But really, after my second child (and a conversation with my aunt), I realized that what really happens, is your inner compass readjusts to the constant state of change that your mind, body and heart go through as a mum.   Which is why no amount of babysitting, and maybe some degree of nannying may get you closer, but won't ever fully prepare you, for the adventure that is motherhood.
Until next time...AIM4Peas

If you must whisper in a large group, then maybe you should save it for later?!

So I spent the afternoon cooking for my husbands 38th birthday dinner.  The menu was eggplant parmigian, with 'homemade' sauce, and spinach and cheese arroncini, which are arborio rice balls mixed with spinach and mozzarella cheese, then covered in breadcrumbs and fried.  Let me tell you that after the cooking and cleaning, my feet hurt...But as I replay the nights events, I am struck by 2 situations that stick out. 
  Hushed voices of my aunt and mum, while sitting with my daughter.  If you need to lower your voice, then you probably shouldn't be saying it around children...Shortly thereafter I actually have to convince my mother that my youngest had the snack first (because she asked me for it and I gave it to her), despite her endless defense of my eldest.  This drives me bonkers, and that is an understatement!  She does it to my husband as well...His grace in handling it may or may not be described as 'grace', but this is a recurring behavior pattern for her.  Short of telling her to 'shut-up' as soon as she starts, I am coming to my witts end!
  My children take time outs for speaking to adults inappropriately; meanwhile the adults they are copying feel it is their responsibility to absolve my children of their wrong doings.  Because in actuality my girls were simply imitating what they just saw; in some cases they were following instructions 'No, throw it like this!  See!!' is a phrase often heard when large groups visit. 
  Now, my husband has said in the past, that if we can raise kids that turn out like myself, or my brother and sister, (which is the worst that could happen letting my mother get her nose in too far) then we are doing quite well...Thanks hon, love you too=)  BUT really, we are the parents, we're sick of explaining.  When is enough enough?  We are always, and maybe soon will be closer to, AIM-ing4Peas

Thanks Goodness for Hoarding shows

I am totally serious...These are the programs that keep me going through the piles that acccumulate on various surfaces of my home.  It keeps me checking dates of cans and dried goods, as well as checking and rechecking the perishables.  When my bathroom starts looking a little unwell, I will straighten it right up. 
  A few good friends have given me a few good tips; and I realized that there are a few things I could do that would have big impacts.  That huge bottle of Germ-X works wonders on my faucets and countertops.  I have yet to figure out how to get all the spots off my glasstop stove, but there was a McCalls book from years ago that said rubbing alcohol would work wonders when cleaning, and it SO does! 
  Also I realized that I spent more time considering doing things, like putting the dishes away, then it actually took me to do it.  This was a point my mother oft tried to point out to me, but I learn things better when I am left to discover them on my own.  My husband hasn't learned this yet, but neither has my mother, so why should I be surprised?!  I think the largest problem my husband and I have is his insistence that I am not listening to him.  When I finally tuned into what he was saying, I agreed.  But I do have to say this...There are very few people who can take something they hear and then put it into practice.  In fact, even pairing this with a visual example still hits relatively few people.  But, whatever, we always expect the most from our spouses I suppose. 
  I am so tired, to all a goodnight...Until next time AIM4Peas

How is THAT possible?

I don't understand why there are folks in this world who can do their job at 50%, and keep it, and get promotions and continue to earn their paycheck; at the same time screwing unsuspecting hardworking families with a simple slip of mind?!  Who does that?! 
  I am sick of this sacrifice my husband makes for our family, still we are scraping by b/c someone somewhere forgot to file a form.  If that had happened to me,  I would have lost my job!!
  Alright, I digress, b/c I know that at this current time, we are fortunate for him to be working, even if it means stretching the buck even further.
  Today, on a particularly long ride, Elena asked me for clean pants b/c hers were wet.  She said some milk had spillled, and she'd like dry pants.  Glancing quickly into the mid-section of our Dodge van, I see nothing too alarming and so continue driving.  Occasionally checking the smaller mirror attached to the rearview, I realize she is squeezing her sippy cup, and rubbing the soap (explanation later) onto it as well.
I too made the vow of 'No milk' in the car, to avoid the stench.  However, they both had been doing so well with telling me they were done, I started to feel like I could I give in a bit.  That is always a red-flag feeling, you would think I know that by now!!  So I pull over, clean-up the minimal mess, but tell her we aren't changing her pants until we have reached our destination.  That is the only natural consequence I can come up with right now.  And oddly enough I hear the DCF alarm bells ringing in my head that this is inhumane, blah blah blah.   Those bells ring when I have to pee at the gas station, and leave them in the car.  Or when they are sleeping in the car and I need to run into to convenience store for milk.  When I have to drop/pick up Elena at preschool, I am not not the only mum, with a sleeping child on my shoulder...Maybe we should all ban together and one of us will watch the sleeping kids in the cars, and the other mums can go get their kids and check in with the teachers.  And we'll rotate this duty, so that we can get through the process in a more efficient manner. 
 Efficiency and productivity are 2 words that should be zapped from our brains during the birthing process....My reality would certainly be more in line with my mental state.  I spent 20-30 minutes looking for my car keys the other day, after my kids were in their seats...After a few prayers to St. Anthony (and numerous retracing my steps in my brain)  I realized I threw in the shopping bag, that I tied and threw in the back...Until next time, and always...AIM4 Peace

'So much to say So much to say So much to say So much to Say'--Dave Matthews Band

So we started the day at 3:30 a.m. one crying child, even in a hotel room with a spare closet sized room, means 2 children wide awake.  Because we are forever trying to cosleep with our second child, I brought her to bed with us.  Elena has slept with us for most of her life.  That is how much my husband travels.  So we continue to try with Emma, but she is soooo chatty, she always eventually ends up back in her own bed.  Fortunately, they both slept until 7, and watched PBS for another hour, giving me 4 more hours of sleep. Then breakfast...For those of you who haven't spent much time with your kids in a hotel dining room, there are millions of options for taking food to go; coffee cups with covers make great snack cups, and disposable sippies.  Some of the time the staff is really helpful and will encourage you to take fruit, which is great because on the road it can be really hard to provide a healthy diet. 
  After breakfast we went to a small local indoor play yard.  Let me just say this, in the 3 mums I spoke to to find this place, not one mentioned that there was a long steep stairwell, leading to the door.  Now, it was pretty well cleared of snow, so we managed to make it, except for one small injury.  Emmas finger got stuck between a hinge cover, and the rod the cover snaps onto.  I felt like such a sh!thea& because, while I wouldn't have stopped on the staircase, I could have stopped at the bottom, instead of pushing her inside, and then trying to figure it all out.  On a high note, the place was empty and things eventually came around.  But we left about a 1/2 hour later because the kids just weren't feeling well.  Mind you no one wanted to nap, but no one wanted to walk around outside.  We went for nuggets and fries at McDonalds; it makes my heart heavy just knowing I indulged them in that God awful meal.  BUT things got better, they didn't want anything to do with the nuggets meal I purchased.  My small victory was that I didn't eat it, we just tossed it.  But I was very clear with Elena that if she didn't at least eat 3 nuggets, next time she asked, we were not going to go.  And so, now we are off THAT hook for awhile. 
  My husband got his laundry done, amazingly enough.  Somehow that happened in our day.  We ran into a consignment store because I forgot to pack Elenas underwear.  NO!!  I wasn't going to buy her used undies, but occasionally they have new packs that were over stocked somewhere. 
  So now I am off to Walmart, to get Reese's b/c Elena stayed dry all day, and needs undies.  We'll see.  Sometimes I think it would be interesting to just be an observer of my life.  But of course it wouldn't be open for comment.  Until next time, and as always, especially in close quarters, AIM4Peas

Nothing new today

Folks, there are jsut some days when you have to put up your hands and say 'It will go how it goes, because that is the was it needs to be, today'.  This is particularly hard for someone who borderline considers themselves a control freak.  But lets just go with it.  I am debating between attaching this blog address to my email signature, and attaching it to a Facebook site.  Hmmm, I really am up in the air about this.
  This and the fact that I want to watch something about Target's PR plan, and my husband has taken it upon himself to switch the TV channel, because I have gotten out of bed to blog.  And now he is not even interested in reading it; which I figured because he is in bed.  It is times like these I wish I had an audience to vote...Until next Time AIM4Peas

I wish I had something interesting to share

Folks, today there was a lot of snow in our neighborhood.  And for the third year in a row, we get plowed into our driveway byt the town.  I thought this year I was on top of it, by calling in the morning and asking they plow it elsewhere (like into large hill in the middle of our cul-de-sac like they reportedly used to do).  When I went out to snowblow (after managing to get a sitter for an hour) I realized that not only would I not be able to get out of my driveway, but my snowblower could barely get through the bump they had left!  I was blown away.  After calling the town, they told me it should be taken care of by morning...I'll be sure to call if it isn't, I told them.
  Emma wouldn't go into the snow today...So Elena played on the back desk by herself.  She was freaking adorable; but when she came in she was frustrated to the point of tears because she couldn't get the snow to form into balls for a 'Frosty'.  We went through a carrot stick and celery stick, because they were getting lost in the snow drifts.  Don't worry; we have a child safety gate on our deck=)  I served homemade chicken soup with corn muffins for dinner.   The girls were unhappy about the fact that I made the muffins without them; but were consoled by a quick game. I was pleased by this dinner, healthy but filling, something I struggle with. 
  I often find I struggle with that...If you look at my  family, there is alot of disordered eating, with the anorexics/bulemics thrown in to the extended family as well.  I struggle with what to tell my children to keep them from eating sugary snacks all day (right now I blame it on the 'sugar bugs' that collect on their teeth).  It concerns me that they will have constructs for beauty or 'pitty' as Emma says when she puts a sparkly piece in her hair, or a tutu on, that they feel left out of as they grow and go in and out of akward stages.  We all have them!!  But really it is usually on my mind, when they see me working out (if I can squeeze it in) and they want to do crunches with me.  When my girlfriend and I are fortunate enough to fit in a tennis match (my fave) or run..When they have a day they eat only vegetables and dairy products, and then want and get brownies for breakfast the next morning.  My husband and I have always been honest about where meat comes from and which animals supply what.  That was one of his best ideas, barnone!  We don't mind if they choose to be vegetarians, I myself soemtimes think about it, but we want them to know the right information, so there are no surprises later on. 
  I am always weighing the pro's and con's surrounding my girls.  It is hard sometimes to not get caught up in it and just get on with our day.  In graduate school they teach you to reflect on your work, always, what went well, what didn't and how you knew.  I do the same thing as a mum.  It's okay; but I am also a reader, and a news watcher, and as we all know there are plenty of pieces of conflicting information.  It is easier when my husband is not on travel, because that tendency seems to dwindle.  Hmmm...Until next time and As always I am AIMing4Peas

to follow up

So I have to be honest, I know that my family is blessed.  While money might be tight, at least we can have a conversation about private school, and pay our bills, while I am staying home with our kiddo's.  We both came from families, where both parents worked.  They did the opposite shift thing.  In my family, we were fortunate enough to have education as an expectation for us.  My mum earned an M.B.A. while she raised us; my dad earned his associates at the same time.  Both my sister and I have a masters degree, and my brother is working on a Ph.D.  I get now (as an adult) we were lucky; and that isn't the norm. 
  I cannot have a blog that other parents might be reading, and simply spew my opinions without offering something up for my audience.  Fortunately, my educational and professional experience, and now my personal experience, can back that up. 
  I have, for as long as I can remember always given my kids warnings when an activity is about to end.  Always 5 minutes, maybe a 2 minute warning if the activity is highly preferred, always 1 minute, and counting down from 5 (4,3,2,1...) to clean up or moving onto another activity.  I know it is ideal to actually have the times be accurate, but really, that just can't always happen.  But they know a transition is about to occur.  I figured this was a pretty common tool, but a few parent/nanny friends have commented that they like this and have adopted it themselves. 
  I also, but this has always been the case, made a point to only say what I mean.  And of course I screw it up and make exceptions, but knowing it's an exception (and what the fall out may be) makes it easier.  I can say this: I do not threaten that Santa won't come, because there's no way I could fulfill on that.  But think about the impact you would have if you did have the will to follow through.  I mean really, aside from seeing a small pile of black dust in a nearly empty stocking, that is as close as I have come. 
  Tomorrow we expect a lot of snow...I will of course being AIM-ing for peace throughout my day; I even saved bath time for tomorrow.
  Until next time...AIM4Peas

Time for bed--Not a creature was stirring

So today, I am hoping, is that last of our quarantine.  The bowel movements and GI distress seems to be waining.  This evening while I was knitting I couldn't help but think about the most recent conversation my husband and I have entered into.  The discussion of a third child.  We know it will be a third for the sake of a third.  My oldest thinks it's great, and wants a brother, and the baby still says no to the idea...Really, as a good friend pointed out, 3 girls doesn't mean what what 3 girls meant 2 decades ago.  At some point when the economy tanked, and as slow (and hopefully steady) as the recovery will be, my husband and I are no longer thinking about how to pay for 2 weddings, versus 3.  It will most likely be more a conversation about contributions.  We are trying to swing paying for college, but I am so disenchanted with public education that I am already investigating private schools.  And lemme tell ya' we aren't catholic, but I am not even concerned with that minor detail if it means we'll be able to afford multiple tuition bills. 
As a 'highly-qualified' teacher, I don't want to go back to public schools --whose numbers are increasing, services are decreasing, and parents are so overwhelmed at home, and underwhelmed with their childs' educational experience that my children bear the brunt of this debacle.  But this is where that train seems to be going...So we are planning ahead.  Currently my daughter is enrolled at a private preschool; next year she goes to their pre-k program.  But at that point, she is already in pre-k for more hours than NH kindergartners attending public school will be....Maybe if I teach at a private school, my kids can reduced tuition?  Hmmm, private schools generally don't hire special educators...Hmmmm.
  On a better note, while there was some TV watching today, the lack of it did not consume conversation for the day.  That is hard when everyone has been sick for the better part of a week, and that is all any of us had energy to do.  Here is the thing about TV, all it does, (and only when my kids haven't napped), is keep them seated on the couch.  If this country were a country of genius children and adolescence, then perhaps we could let TV take credit; but I realize as a parent that TV is really (and maybe only a little bit) expanding my childrens' vocabulary exposure.  Most adults use the same (was the number 4,000) words everyday; so they will hear different words.  But really if all it took were Umi-Zoomi to learn geoemetry, or Yo Gabba Gabba to make a child a musical prodigy, then most parents could pat ourselves on the proverbial back.  The DIY net work is proof positive of statement; how many people watch that channel and can then go renovate a house?
  Until next time....AIM4Peas
 

Play Doh at the Table

Today the girls are playing with play dough at the table, next to me.  Sometimes they are 'sleeping' (a.k.a up ripping the pages in their books) when I blog; today they are playing constructively.  We have had only 2...Oh wait, drama at the play dough table, Emma took the mini-pastry cups.  We have been working a lot with both girls on using their words, instead of getting upset, when they want something.  Emma's language skills are still emerging, but Elena's are at the point where she is looking for new words, expressions, practicing the verbal and non-verbal methods of communication. 
  Today the flu bug seems to have hit me as well, but thankfully, if I really limit my intake, and drink water, I feel okay.  I just can't go too far from a toilet.  I think I have found a solution to the consignment shop dilemma.  EBAY...It has worked so far, but really the only trip I'll need to take will be to the post office.  And if I can get my computer skills working, it appears as though I could do it all from home.  I am presently contemplating selling some baby clothes...Or taking a gamble, and spending some money for new stuff, and seeing how that sells...
  Friday night, as I was watching Supernanny, it occurs to me to research the question of cost for the death penalty, versus life in prison, versus educating our children.  What I could find immediately was that the litigating costs are what drives the arguement of the death penalty costing so much...Hmmm, the shot itself is quite inexpensive obviously, so....Hmm, I am just getting more and more curious about how my findings will go.  Perhaps I'll let you know.
  Finally, I am so looking forward to mindless TV tonight.  'Jerseylicious' (thank you to my grandparents for moving from NJ) and then 'Desperate Housewives', (thank you to Hollywood writers for creating this program). 
  Until next time....Aim4Peas

one is napping and the other is about to lost the Lite Brite toy

So this morning was relatively uneventful...I had to sort out with my mum why her mail, and my brothers, was in the pile she delivered to me.  It turns out, it was for my uncle, which of course now makes so much sense to me, I can't believe I did't figure it out on my own...Shortly thereafter we finished a half hour program (yay!! TV off) and went downstairs to play.  We got the wood stove running, with only one crying jag. Apparently the older girl pushed the younger one off the rocking horse...My older daughter reasons that she didn't want her little sister to get her toy tools; again logical thinking abounds!!  
  We made 'clean' peanutbutter oatmeal energy bars; which taste great, but we have arrived at the same predictament as last night, nobody wants to eat in my house except for me.  It may be a clean recipe, but I am pretty sure I ate my portion for the next 3 days!!  And I realized as we made them that the numeracy skills that come with a shared cooking recipe, are really only relevant if you let the child do the measuring, in addtion, to the pouring and mixing the dry ingredients.  <<Cue hand slapping-forehead>>
  So...maybe next time! Elena (the oldest) is playing with a Lite Bright Cube!  This is NOT an improvement over the older model except for the fact that you need a screw driver to get to the electrical source.  There is no lean to the cube (obviously) so the small pointy 'bulbs' fall with a dainty plink to our laminate floors; small, pretty much constant, reminders of the tearing that would happen should Emma (the younger) ingest them!! 
  Yes there was anxiety present for both of those last 2 activities.  That is when TV sounds the best, when I want to engage my children in physically safe activities (though if I let them, mine would jump all over the furniture).
  We shall see how the rest of the day fares.  And yes...Our laundry is in the same place it was two days ago...with nothing else folded.  We'll see what my husband says when he gets home later...But now that I think about it, Elena and I are going to fold clothes...At least until Em wakes up and needs something!
  Until next time...AIM4Peas

take 2

I have fixed a quick dinner for the kids, which they didn't eat, despite liking the items.  All I can think about are all the hungry people I alone could feed with my childrens' wasted food.  There are only so many dishes you can reheat, and when my husband is on travel, I am generally not fixing those dishes.  So scrambled eggs went into the trash.  At least I got about 1/2 of a peanut butter sandwich into them.  And yes, it was on whole grain bread, and No, sugar was not in the first 3 ingredients on the list.  
 I also handled a major BM before fixing dinner.  The kind where you don't even think of using wipes, and go straight for washing it down the drain.  Thankfully, everybody wanted to bathe.  So dirty clothes made it to the washer, and clorox made it onto the counters.  The bathroom itself was Lysol'd, but I confess my kids were in the tub at the time.  Sometimes you just need to make that call, weighing the researched evidence carefully.
  And PBS didn't go anywhere this morning.  Instead they painted; and I managed my mounting anxiety. Because even though we use waterbased paints, I just have to remember that there is actually nothing in the entire house that my husband and I are truly attached to keeping in great shape because it is all older hand-me-down furniture.  Thank you friends and family!!  It is because of you we could rid of that 70's sofa with the birds flying through the forest!! 
  BUT we made it to the consignment shop, out of 12 items they took 2.  So we went to another one, and they took a few more, and finally the rest went to charity.  But really how much good am I doing for the earth by driving across town a few times?  Until next time...AIM4peas

Peace at 7:41 a.m.?

My 2 girls are sitting at the table eating a bowl of generic Life Cereal.  There is peace and quiet and all things good in the world right now.  They are watching the candle I have lit inside a glass container, my oldest is wiping up her milk...'Wait NO don't do that!!' I shout, I think I even scared her a bit.  She lovingly places the napkin over the small opening, over the flame.  And looks at me knowing she has been scolded.  And now she wants to watch TV, so long GMA.  Roll in the PBS...But because we are all recovering from the vomiting bug working it's way through the northeast, and are coming off of a 3 day TV marathon, we will only be watching 1/2 hr. 

My First Time

This is a blog about motherhood and marriage, and how things REALLY work!! 
It has been awhile since I have been able to apply those words to anything.  Hmm, a bit about me: first marriage for both, 2 girls under 3, advanced degree in education.  Currently I am a stay at home mum, or I think I have heard the term SaHm?  Anyways, given the current trend of public education I am strongly considering a realtors license and private school.  If you think of the shape of the housing market, I guarantee that last remark should at least make you smirk.
  It is about 10:30 here and I am thinking of the pile of laundry awaiting me in our bedroom,  my fifth attempt to at least fold, eventually put away.  Despite swearing off medical dramas and insisting Hollywood writers actually become original again, that 'Greys Anatomy' spin off is playing in the background, and yes, I also watched 'Greys Anatomy'.  I am even spelling 'Grey' correctly?   Ah yes, it is called 'Private Practice'.  Mind you I was cleaning while I watched, but I am sure they really only count the the number of TV's tuned to that station when they say 'more than 5 million watched...'  Really it was just on in the background!  But that is it for my first entry, I am heading to bed, or at least the room in my house where the laundry is currently residing awaiting my presence.   Until next time...AIM4Peas
p.s.  In our Adventures in Motherhood aren't we always aiming for peace?